A Sudden Change of Heart
by Twenty-Seven-One
Summary: Yeah, so maybe I do have a heart. And maybe it's three times smaller than the f------ Grinch's." c!Syaoran's POV. Spoilers all the way up to chapter 208.. kinda serious, kinda random.. How the Clone meets his ultimate demise.


Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa reservoir Chronicles or any of the characters. That belongs to CLAMP.. and I'm jealous.

Warnings: Rated T for language. Kurogane's language. and a bit of Syaoran's inner-mind langauge too. Who would have thought?

Relationships: If you'tre a KuroFye fan, you'll see it. If you're not, I don't think you will. Obviously, SxS. Like, come on. What's a Syaoran POV fanfic without it?

Spoilers: YEAH. Up to the latest chapter, 208. I couldn't help myself.. Cliffhangers, CLAMP!

Sudden Changes of Heart

He was a fool. A very stupid person. That, surprisingly, was the only thing I could think as my original self pointed his "weakly-infused with worhless-magic'' jian sword at me.. a sword that had seen the blood of his current, and my former comrades many times. But I didn't care. the sword didn't even have a name. It was just sorta there; it was no threat to me.

he was stupid, after all. By how I had seen him fight before, against me with it (and sometimes using his feet to harm me aswell - now come on, did he really think it was going to do anything?) it was clear he'd been trained, perhaps by someone who had used the same sword before, and maybe, he'd benefitted from the time when the ninja, one of his current comrades, had taught me how to fight, as he had been watching through my useless right eye the entire time.

Well.. useless in the ways of my sight, anyways. I guess it was good that it was _there, _anyways,but maybe if it _hadn't _and if I had been able to see my entire life without _his _eye in it's placed also infused with that bit of his heart that had made me even partially human..

_Maybe _I wouldn't have gone so psychotic in Tokyo.

Just _maybe _I wouldn't have eaten the mage's (not anymore, I guess, by the looks of things) eye then.

Wait. What am I saying. Of course I would have. The magic was delicious.

But now, as my original (wearing _my _damned clothes) pointed that nameless, short sword at me and told me that he was going to end things here and now, I shook my head, only to myself, I was too distant from him to be seen - and I tried not to laugh at him.

Laughing was something I hadn't done in awhile. No, that's not a boo-hoo sob-story, it's just the truth. I hadn't had time to hear and jokes.. and would you believe it, nobody ever cracked any funny jokes around me anyways! I guess they could be much too weak (or dead, what do I care?) to say anything to me (Mr. Murderer) but still.. even a knock-knock joke might suffice..

So the words of my original would have to do as a joke for me. _"I won't fail this time.. it ends today."_

The fact that he had even said _this time _should have made him realize that he was going to lose _worse_ than he had those other two times_._ In Tokyo, where we first met, I had let him off easily.. though I have absolutely no idea why.. If I had ended him then, surely he wouldn't be such a pest now.

And then, in Nihon. If that _stupid _girl hadn't interfered then, he would be long gone by now.. but of course, in Nihon, his life had been the least of my problems.. that had been the day that I had been able to start thinking like this.

Before then, like in Tokyo when I had first lost my.. intellectual mind (tsh, if you can even say that, my mind had been too like the idiot's, the guy standing before me) and all the places after that and yet before Nihon (duh), I hadn't been able to think like this. The only loss then was that I didn't get to have fun while killing like I do now.

Really, the power of being able to snuff multiple lives out.. is fun. 'Collecting Feathers', as I had once been driven to do, is now just an excuse to go on killing sprees..

Staring down at my mirror self, seeing his two comrades fighting failed creations (like yours truly, but scratch out the ' failed') just glancing around just _once_ to see where the white rabit-manjuu-thing was hiding (no real reason, just curious), I realized that my creator (uh... no comment) was watching me. This guy, though he seemed to know everything, did not yet know of my.. personality change, from that of a tractable robot-like thing, to.. well..

moi.

The real me.

If I can say that.

It's a funny thing, isn't it? Everything in me at one time was either copied from the idiot challenging me, or just not there. Long before Tokyo, I had been an archaeologist.. sort of.. person-thingy. Why? Because my 'father' had been one.

Copied future.

And, before I had met this 'father', I had no memories.

Why? Because I was created (again: no comment) when I was seven, and how the hell am I supposed to have memories of when I didn't exist?

And when I was like this stupid guy, I think his name is Syaoran Li but do I really care about names? I was.. heh.. In _love _with a dainty little _stupid _Princess. A bit full of myself, huh?

well, she had loved me back. So take that.

And no, I'm not a player.

... then again, I can't really say that she was in love with _me _and that _I _was in love with _her. _She had loved Syaoran Li's heart, the one that he had forced into me via eyesockets... and despite what he said to me in Tokyo, it was his heart that loved her back.

They deserve eachother.

Even if the one I knew was a clone, just like me.

Even if she had died impaled on my sword saying that she loved me and that she had alwaye believed my own heart lived within me...

Yeah, so maybe I do have a heart. And maybe it's three times smaller than the fucking Grinch's.

So yeah, I'm a jerk. I'm pretty much a sardonic bastard who's just a little bit sick in the head and should be the leader of the freaking Mafia.

That is my heart, sweetheart, so you died in vain.

Pretty much lived in vain.

"Indeed.. It ends.. today." Knowing that my creator (.....) was watching me, all I could do was manage words like these. Well, atleast I wasn't exclaiming craziness over who has feathers and who doesn't!

There are birds outside that have feathers, you know!

Then, my original self stopped merely annoying me. He jumped; attacked me with that pathetic sword of his.

Yeah, that wasn't annoying. That was just immediately pissing me off.

So I fought back. I swear, beating up this guy is like beating up a pillow. Beat him with your fists and feet, he takes it sort of well. Cut him with your sword, these little slits will appear in him but he won't be completely ripped apart yet. Use magic on him..

hell yeah, he's a freaking goner.

But, you know, I haven't ever really attacked a pillow with magic. I guess I _would _have to prove my point of Syaoran's pillow-likeness, but I haven't had much time to, and if I did, I think my creator would have.. thought oddly of it.

Just sort of oddly.

I dunno, though.

He's a pretty strange character himself.

Anyways.

The stupid one couldn't move much now. I think he knew he was defeated.

That would suck, wouldn't it? To be beaten by someone who looked identical to yourself (except for one differently colored eye, different clothes and more blood that belonged to other people _on _those clothes) knowing that he was so ultimately stronger than yourself.

And also loved, like, 10x more and thought more highly of for a much longer amount of time than him.

"So the wish of _your _Sakura.. didn't get through to you then?" He tried to say to me, although.. it was sort of implied that it kind of hadn't..

Or maybe it had. I paused for a second, thinking back to the prolonged moments when that girl had died (I _guess _she died, it seemed more like she had dissolved into cherry blossom petals that seemed fitting to her name: _Sakura_, and plus it had been her soul that had died so.. I don't know) in my arms, telling me that she, also, was just a 'creation' (..just?) and telling Syaoran Li that '_his' _Sakura was waiting out there somewhere for him.

Really.

If she hadn't died then, (of course after trying to tell me that she loved me) I would have probably laughed.

well, probably not because then my mind was on one track, to get back the feathers, but if I was able to think the way I thought now..

hell of a lot of 'ifs' there..

But really, though that girl was a copy of the heart, mind and body of her original, what if the original decided to be different?

What if she had fallen in love with someone relatively smarter than Mr. My Alias is Syaoran Li Just Like Daddy Dearest?

I guess that wouldn't have happened because apparently, her _real _soul and body had been locked in time moments before my creator had put a Seal of Death on her (gee, wish I knew how to do that). I guess she and Syaoran would have been seven then.

See? He's stupid! Seven years after the placement of the Seal, she would have died but _he _couldn't let that happen. So _he _turned back time to _this _moment (not this moment really, the moments before his E-N-D) the moment before he didn't take her hand to pull him away from my creator, dooming her.

Turning back time had been a sin. I guess.

I don't really care.

But.

you know.

This stuff just has a habit of embedding itself into my mind.

Just 'cause it does.

Like I said, I don't give a damn _why._

I guess this Sakura girl of 'his' must have been pretty important.. just like 'my' Sakura had been.

at one time.

All that time ago before Tokyo, where Mr. Idiot had appeared.

When I had been a good guy, determined to bring _my _Sakura's feather's feathers back.

Maybe she was really just an important person.

Maybe I had been upset when my vocal chords had decided to run solo for awhile and made me scream in apparent despair when her soul faded into those pretty petals.

Maybe I wasn't worse than the Grinch after all?

I probably am.

However, I _would _like to meet my Sakura to find out..

Oh wait.

She's dead.

I guess.

But _his _Sakura is still alive, right? If we save her..

Then maybe I would be able to meet _my _Sakura as well as his..

I like to prove my points, okay?

And I cannot use magic on pillows at this current time.. so this just might satisfy my appetite for proving myself right again!

So okay. I wanted to meet my Sakura again.

Because maybe I do.

Maybe I just do love her like Mr. Idiot had said.

Because.. if he loved _his _Sakura, he surely wouldn't try to cheat on her with _my _Sakura!

Oh, come on now. I don't claim women like that at all.

Jeez.

I don't even really have an attraction to women. Or I didn't.

Not men either, mind you, not like there's anything.. wrong with that.

Mr. Idiot was unarmed now. His sword had spun away now, out of reach. It hadn't really been helping him much then anyways.

I stared down at him, at myself, basically, and just a bit, I felt myself frown at the sight of the sorrow in his amber eyes, like it had been in my own once. I knew his pain.. some of it. His mental pain.

It had been an absolutely crushing pain. The sort of pain that had made me want to stay isolated, on my own, and cry or scream or die, because nobody in the world was by my side any longer, my beloved gone far away from me, far out of reach..

That had been the way I had felt in the Republic of Hansin, when my beloved Princess Sakura had been taken away from me.. but she hadn't died.

That was the worst thing ever, and I knew it. I knew that to lose someone unbelievably close, but for them not to die..

was so unbelievbably terrible..

because my Sakura.. had lost all of her memories, taken the shape of pretty delicate feathers.. and spread out across many different dimensions... and I had given up all of her memories of me to get back her past, her life.

Why?

It was not only because I had been created for that purpose.

It had been because the heart within me had adored her, not only as my Princess, but as my childhood friend aswell.

But it was not only friend adoration.

I loved that girl.

I swear, I did. But I had killed her.

I killed my beloved.

My grip loosened on Hein, my powerful sword, a bit, but it was still pointed at the face of Mr.. of Syaoran. I had killed Princess Sakura.. My Sakura.. My love..

the realization crashed down on my like a tonne of bricks... but a tonne of bricks would have definately killed me while this guilt did not.. yet.

my love had been begging for me to spare her and Syaoran.. tears flowing from her beautiful emerald eyes.. and what had I done? I told her to stop defending Syaoran and when my body hadn't let me kill her, I had stabbed her shoulder instead.

Even then.. she had continued to defend the one who looked like me as he was unconscious, knocked out from exhaustion of earlier battles with others and from fighting for her safety so much.. against me, the one who had threatened not only her safety, but her existence aswell..

But even when I saw her pain, the pain I had once tried to prevent so much and the pain that Syaoran had been trying to get rid of, pain only caused by me, I still did not pause.

Then he had woken up when I had pulled one of her feathers from his soul..

and when we both went to kill eachother..

she had jumped inbetween our swords and mine had impaled her.

I continued to stare down at Syaoran, for what seemed like hours but was only short seconds.

I wanted to collapse then, to cry and to die just like my Sakura had, but I knew that I could not, just like in the Republic of Hansin.

Then, I had made the decision to keep living with a warm smile and a strong mind for her sake.

Now, I made the decision to keep living with the facade of a heartless clone with only a one-track mind..

for her sake only.

I stared at Syaoran for one second longer.

no, not only for her sake. For his, and his Sakura's.

And the two fighting behind us. The magici.. the vampire and the ninja.

Fye-san and Kurogane-san...

I wanted them to live on, just like Syaoran and his Sakura.

And Mokona too.

Life. That was what they all deserved no matter what.

Myself, not as much.

My grip tightened once again on Hein.

Syaoran would have to know.

He'd have to know that the reasons I'd make him suffer..

"I.. will do what I must." I told him, only desperately hoping that Fei Wong Reed believed my cold, uncaring tone... and only that Syaoran would understand it was for their sake, all of their sakes, and that what I must was to cause even more pain for them all.

My sword came down. Into his chest; blood flew, but I made careful sure to not make the wound fatal. Like my Sakura had said before; if those two keep on living, then it won't end..

I heard Fye-san shout his name behind me. Even without looking at them, I knew that they were mad.

Before, way before Tokyo, I knew that it had bothered me very much when either Fye-san or Kurogane-san had been mad at me.

Well.. Fye-san had never really gotten mad. He had been much too light-hearted to get angry. Kurogane-san had always seemed mad. Fye-san had fun making him even madder.. but when I saw them now, I saw that since I had left all of them in Tokyo, their relationship had improved a lot.

The one good thing that had happened.. if only it had happened under better circumstances..

When I did turn around to look at them, I saw that they were worse than mad. They were upset terribly, by the apparent death of their close comrade, the one who had tried to close the enormous gap that I had left..

It pained me to see such horrible expressions they had as they fought past the failed creations that Fei Wong Reed had placed between them.. As they hurried toward me, I heard Kurogane-shout "_Move!" _at the creations in a terribly loud voice.

Yet again, I felt like collapsing and crying.. but I knew that for all their sakes, all their ..

I had to put them in danger.

And I had to act like I didn't care.

Using the magic that I had stolen from Fye-san's eye, by devouring it entirely, everything about them and the creations exploded. The ruins shook; Fye-san and Kurogane-san were blown back. I knew that it would have hurt them, but I could only hope that they were unconscious. They would not need to see another apparent betrayal, as they had seen over and over again by their former-comrade.

I knew now that they expected no heart in me. I knew that they thought I was never going to fight on their side again.

But I also knew that they were wrong.

I heard Fei-Wong Reed say something, something about my magic, and how Fye-san wasn't a magician anymore. Inside, I felt my anger boil. That man had caused so much pain - almost as much as I had - and now it had to end.

He had to end!

Frowing away from him, I turned toward Syaoran. I knew that he was in deep pain, and by such, he did not know what my plan were. I had to tell him what I was doing.. if he didn't understand, nothing would work.

Carefully - but making it appear as if I did not care at all- I grabbed a bunch of his cloak and his shirt in my fist, and pulled him up a bit so I could whisper into his ear.

I hoped that the words I was going to use would help him to understand, and to figure it all out on his own.

"Syaoran." I said, quietly. Just barely, I felt him twitch in surprise. I'm pretty sure he thought I was saying his name like he had said it to me in all of the dreams I had, when he appeared. Maybe he thought I was mocking him, trying to intimidate him before I actually killed him, but he was much too weak to react yet. Noticing this, I lightened my voice just a bit. "Syaoran? I'm so sorry. Please.. trust me."

I knew that a mere apology was not nearly enough.. but I felt him relax a little bit. He knew that he was not yet safe, but he knew that I wouldn't hurt him. Maybe he understood, too. I think he did, because he did not open his eyes to see if I was being sincere.

It was time to return to Fei-Wong Reed now, to carry out my plans.

Trying not to hurt Syaoran any more, but knowing that I sort of had to, I pulled the back of his cloak up, and dragged him through the destruction to my creator. Immediately, Fei-Wong gave me an appraising smirk (..i guess..) and opened the portal to the dimension where he waited.

I could hear Fye-san call Syaoran once more, with a pained voice far behind us both, and I also heard Kurogane-san call "Kid!" as he never had actually said the name 'Syaoran' yet.

Maybe this was because he knew that it wasn't really Syaoran's name? Was an alias something that ninjas picked up on like that?

Probably, because Syaoran wasn't really a kid, as he had been saying behind his actual words, when I had been listening. His mind was really twenty-one when his body was just that of a fourteen year olds.

I really waned to turn around and tell them that everything was going to be okay, especially when I heard Mokona's anguished cries under fallen rubble... but that would mess everything up.

I also knew that Syaoran was willing me to go, no matter how upset his comrades were. In just a little while, that would be gone.

He wanted to fix everything, too.

I stepped into the portal, and stepped out by Fei-Wong Reed's side. Carefully-but-not, I dropped Syaoran and stepped back, to watch in the shadows as I had all the times before, while watching him do horrible things when I was not allowed to interfere. This time, I watched as he merely snapped his fiingers.

It seemed like a simple gesture, but with this I knew that it had greatly effected Syaoran.. his soul had just been separated from his body, and Fei-Wong had transported it to the place where _his _Sakura was.. where she was waiting.

"A dream," Fei-Wong said, to basically nobody as he figured that it was useless to say things to me that weren't commands. "That's all some wishes are. The wish of Clow Reed's descendant, Syaoran, to protect the Princess of Clow's life was merely a dream."

My reply to him was a reserved, cool stare. Like I would have done before, naturally.

"Now.. it's time to put an end to all of them once and for all." Fei-Wong said, and I knew that his next movement would put an end to all the unneeded pawns; Fye-san, Kurogane-san, Mokona, Syaoran..

I knew that my next movement would put an end to him. Slowly, just by bits, I moved forward. He did not notice, but he raised his hand. I raised Hein.

Before he could conduct magic, my sword went into his chest from the back. His voice was caught on pain and surprise; the small noise - sort of like an 'urk!' - echoed through the ruins through the tear he had been looking through.

I heard Kurogane's loud, "What the _fuck _is going on?!" through his pain.

And I could only smile as Fei-Wong died, not caring that I had snuffed yet another life out, not caring if it was something I shouldn't have done at all..

Quickly, I pulled Syaoran out of the tear as it closed, leaving the dimension Fei-Wong had been in completely uninhibited, except for his corpse...

The magic keeping Syaoran's soul away broke, and he reawoke instantly, his chocolate eyes snapping open and instantly connected with my own, one mirroring his exactly, yet the other such a bright color of blue.

"Syaoran-kun..?" He sounded confused, and for once I felt more like Syaoran than I knew he did. For once, I knew about everything that had just happened. For once, he was not watching through my eye or knowing what I had done through a connection..

And the way he had said my name, too. with the '-kun' on the end like I was.. kind of like a friend. Maybe he saw my smile. maybe he knew that I was not smiling because I was a psychopath.

Just barely, I nodded. "Syaoran," I didn't add the '-kun'. We weren't friends, but it did not feel right, as I was a copy of him, not an acquantiance of his.. "It's not over yet."

He knew what I meant. The fighting could be over, but saving Sakura was not.

He knew what he had to do; time had not yet started again, but soon it would and he would have to be there to.. stop the past and change the future.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to do with it. Maybe I was _a _Syaoran-kun, but I was not _the _Syaoran-kun. I would just do what I could until the future was changed, and I faded away.

He strugged to his feet (with a bit of my help) and with a nod and a smile in my direction, he moved away, toward where his Sakura was frozen in time.

I moved toward Kurogane-san and Fye-san, to help them out of the rubble (assuming that they would let me) and explain the events that had just taken place.

I got close; the way Kurogane-san swore at me angrily and the way I could see Fye-san's remaining golden eye (my fault) glow told me that though they were injured, they would not hesitate to fight me with all their might.

Beyond them, I could see Mokona pushing himself from a few rocks. Mokona, sort of like _my _Sakura, had known that I had been dangerous to be around (_un_like my Sakura) but he hadn't acually hated me for it. I think he had hoped that I would grow my own heart..

maybe he would understand now.

"Fye-san, Kurogane-san, I..." unexpectedly, my voice cracked. Of course it would. I did not have a twenty-one-year-old mind like Syaoran did; I.. was only fourteen years old. Only..

But they were looking at me strangely now. Ever since Tokyo, I had not adressed them like that. I had hardly even spoken to them, apart than the way I had explained to Fye-san that I had needed his magic via devouring his left eye, and how I had told Kurogane-san that I needed both of Fye-san's eyes, that I would destroy him if he got in my way..

Through my eyes now, blurred by my falling tears that I wanted to go away, I could see Kurogane-san squint at me, and see Fye-san's eye widen. They knew that this was no act.

Mokona saw, aswell. Immediately, he jumped up into my arms, yelling, "Syaoran!". For a moment, I found it hard to believe that he would be so kind so quickly. After all, I had caused them so much pain and misery.. I was also the one that had just harmed them so much physically, and had caused them the death of their Princess..

But i hugged Mokona back anyways, letting a few of my tears soak into it's fur before looking back at Kurogane-san and Fye-san. "I.. I'm so sorry.."

Like it had been with Syaoran before, I knew that a simple apology was not nearly enough.

But the way the reacted.. it was like an apology _was _enough.

"Syaoran-kun," Fye-san pushed himself to his feet, the bright golden glow gone from his eye, telling me that.. he no longer thought of me as a threat. "It's alright." With his comforting words and tone, he reminded me of what he had called himself all that time ago before Tokyo: 'Fye-Mommy'. This was the way a mother would act. just vaguely, I smiled, and Fye-san brought me into a hug, just like Mokona had. A hug I did not deserve at all.

Kurogane-san stood up aswell, but I did not expect a hug from him at all. There was a cold glare in his crimson eyes; I had betrayed his trust once, and that was enough. "Where did the other kid go?" He asked me in a gruff voice once Fye-san released me. Mokona still stayed in my arms, happy that it was just able to be there.

My tears were gone by then; I was able to reply to Kurogane-san without making a fool out of myself. Clearly, the man still thought that Syaoran was dead. "He is okay," I assured them all, sort of happy that he had come to replace me. "He's gone to fix everything."

_Fix everything. _This meant to pull his Sakura from Fei-Wong Reed's grasp in the past, so he wouldn't have had to go back in time, so Fye-san wouldn't have been born with the other Fye-san, his twin, and so that Kurogane-san's parents wouldn't have died.

So that a lot of things wouldn't have happened.. so our journey together would be eliminated from everything..

Just like me and _my _Sakura.

Just like Watanuki-san, the one that I saw the when I first arrived in Yuuko-san's world, wouldn't have been born, either? I heard that part of Syaoran's explanation when I had stepped into the isolated time of Clow. His parents, the _other _Sakura-san and Syaoran-san, wouldn't have died either.

Syaoran - no, I guess his real name is Kimihiro, _my _name and his father's name is Syaoran - would be deleting lives from all worlds.. but saving some, too. His parents, Kurogane-san's parents, and his Sakura's...

So it wasn't _all _bad.

Kurogane-san stared at me for a long while, and after a few seconds I looked away, at the ground. Then, when I thought nothing would ever happen, something did. Of course something would have.

Kurogane-san stepped forward.. and planted his fist down upon my head. Hard. Not hard enough to do any damage, but still.. hard.

I had to stifle my 'ouch!', and Kurogane-san grinned at me.

"You shouldn't be looking at the ground. If you have things you must do, you have to always look forward."

I remembered this as something he had said to me just before we had left Hansin, after I had accepted the fact that _my _Sakura had forgotten all about our childhood friendship... this time it was just _so _much different..

I had nothing to do, though. Nothing to look foward to, except my existence being eliminated from all worlds, when Kimihiro 'fixed' everything.

"Kurogane-san.." I began, knowing that I needed to tell him this. "I can't. I have nothing that needs to be done any longer."

With those words, Mokona wriggled free of my grasp and jumped onto my head; Yuuko-san appeared from the projectory-like thing on his head. "That's true." she said, looking toward Kurogane-san and Fye-san more than me.

Honestly.. I don't think she liked me. But of course, I don't blame her one bit.

"When Syaoran pulls Sakura from Fei-Wong Reed, things that he caused to happen to mark the beginning of your journey will not happen. Fye, you will not be born with a twin. Kurogane, you parents will not be killed."

This looked to startle both, even though I figured that they had figured so anyways. Maybe they didn't want to lose eachother, lose Mokona, Kimihiro, Sakura.. Maybe even me. I don't know.

But in the stead of the bad, there was good for them... I guess..

"You mean, Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan will disappear?" Fye-san asked her, obviously talking aboyt me and _my _Sakura rather than Kimihiro and _his _Sakura.

In a sad, short way, Yuuko-san nodded. She would lose someone, too; Watanuki-san, the person who had been born in Kimihiro's place when he had turned back time.

That poor guy.. I doubted that he even knew what was happening.. He would just vanish, be forgotten, and he wouldn't even be prepared for it.

I.. had to do something for him, for my Sakura, too. All the poor people who had been created because of Kimihiro's choice. Xing-Huo among them; though she was dead..

"Yuuko-san!" I was surprised by my own voice, how it was so.. determined, in a good way. She looked toward me. "I.. have a wish."

"Syaoran?" Mokona sounded confused; they all looked it. This was something that was, finally, unexpected.

"I.. want to create a world where the souls won't disappear, and won't forget." I said, knowing that these souls would be forgotten by the ones closest to them.. but I knew it was something they would deal with.

Yuuko-san thought about it; I thought my request would be denied, but the way she looked to consider it made me have my doubts.

"I can grant that wish." She said finally, and I sighed with relief. "What will your payment be?"

My relief was certainly short-lived. "I will use my magic to help, and I will also give it up to you." I hoped that this would be enough. The next thing I had would take me away from _my _Sakura if we ever met up again.. and I did not want that to happen..

But, it did. "That payment is not enough. What is something you value as much as the lives of those others, along with the magic you have?"

I guess she had a point. My magic had only brought death and destruction.. I did not value it at all.

Fye-san attempted to speak, but was interrupted by Kurogane-san who was interrupted by Yuuko-san. a lot of unfinished sentences there.. I was not curious to hear any of them. "This is Syaoran's wish. You two have no place in it."

I already knew what my full payment was anyways. "Yuuko-san.. my life will be my payment."

"Syaoran!" Mokona exclaimed from ontop of my head.

Kurogane-san made a low growling noise from deep in his throat, and Fye-san was quiet. I knew why.

"That is my compensation for your wish." Yuuko-san told me with a nod.

Instantly, I looked back at Fye-san. "I'm sorry.. is it alright if I give up your magic as some of my payment?"

He blinked at me (if it's still a blink with just one eye) and looked quite aghast at my question. "Syaoran-kun, it's not my magic. I'm not a magician anymore."

It was his magic, but I decided not to argue. "I was just thinking, Syaoran-kun, would Sakura-chan would be happy if she knew that you gave up your life in order for her's?"

I was sort of tempted to tell him, 'I won't die, because i have something I must do', like I had said many times before.. but this time it wasn't actually true.I had to die, to do what I had to do.

"So, Witch-san, how will I die?" I looked back toward Yuuko-san without replying to Fye-san. I knew that my Sakura would not be at all happy to know that.. but atleast she would know that I had not died trying to kill Kimihiro..

Yuuko-san lifted a hand and pointed in the direction that Kimihiro had gone to save his Sakura.

"Defending them, you will be eliminated by Fei-Wong Reed in Kimihiro's place." She told me, and somehow, I could tell that she was doing me a favor by letting me do this.

It was interfering with the past.. for a good cause.

I nodded, again smiling vaguely. "Thank you,"

But my former comrades were not at all thankful.

"Yuuko!" Mokona cried from atop my head, upset by the way Yuuko-san was letting me do this.

"Witch, how can you let him do this? He's a fucking kid." Kurogane-san growled angrily.

Yuuko shrugged. "What I do, is grant wishes and take payment." She said simply, before looking at me, again. "Time is starting in mere seconds, I suggest you go now."

The projectory ended then, when I saw Watanuki-san walk into the room behind her and look completely startled by the sight of all of us.

Calmly, I handed Mokona over to Fye-san and without another word to them, set off oward where Kimihiro was waiting for time to start again. If I could get to him before it did..

I didn't, and when I head a loud "_Waaaah!" _and the following _splash, _I knew I had to move quickly. Fei-Wong Reed still planned on placing the Seal of Death upon Sakura, even when Kimihiro had pulled her away from him - if he managed to before I got there, then all of this was in total vain.

Beside where I stepped next, I saw Kimihiro's sword disappear. after that, I head his _"RAITEI... SHOURAI!!" _Spell being cast.. a spell I recognized too clearly from being used against me one too many times.

I emerged into the room, and everyone froze.

They were startled by my mere appearance - even Fei-Wong.

Kimihiro was young again. Seven years old. He no longer had the mind of someone older - he was actually, finally, just seven.

Sakura was seven, aswell, and looked just the way _my _Sakura had when she had been seven.. My first instinct was to run toward her and hug her with all my might, but even so, I knew that she was not _my _Sakura. She was his.. and I was glad for him_._

Fei-Wong looked the exact way he had when I had seen him last.. except he was not leaning on me to do his dirtywork. He did not recognize me.

Kimihiro did, though, and so did Sakura. They recognized me as someone who looked exactly like Kimihiro, yet older, covered in blood and a differently colored right eye.

"Who are you?" Kimihiro asked, half curious and half.. frightened, I would guess. He was scared by this entire thing.

I didn't blame him one bit. He was a kid, after all.

"Are you hurt?!" Sakura asked faintly, though I guessed that my own pain was nothing compared to the trouble they were in. It was certainly the least of their problems..

I knew that I would have to reply, too. "I'm fine," I said to her, and looked toward Fei-Wong. he was recovering from the surprise of an intruder when i took my place beside the younger Kimihiro, happy to fight by his side.. just once.

"Do you know what's going on?" He asked me in an almost-panicked voice.. but I could easily tell that he was glad to have someone a bit older helping him out.. though he had no idea how.

"This man must be defeated," was all I decided to tell him. Clearly, he knew that I was connected to him somehow, but he decided that it probably wasn't the right time to hear an explanation.

Fei-Wong attacked with magic.

My magic was stronger than his - he had said so himself before. My magic exceeded the limit of strength.. I believe that I was just one step below the ancient Clow Reed now.. so I merely blocked his magic, and rerouted its path toeward him.

And yeah, it hit him. Pretty hard.. I guess he can't defend himself against his own magic.

When he was trying to recover from that, I hit him with more of my _own _magic.. but not enough to put an end to him.. again.. because i knew that he had to kill me.

Dust cleared, but he was quick to attack again; I saw his sword coming from almost nowhere and out of instinct, moved so it just nicked my arm.

'Nicked' is a bit of an understatement, mind you.

I paused for a second, catching my breath and willing away the pain in my arm (isn't this arm broken, too?..) and in that short amount of time, Fei-Wong attacked Kimihiro and Sakura with a strong burst of magic that Kimihiro was not yet strong enough to defend himself and Sakura against.

The young boy kept most of it away from Sakura, but they were both blown away and injured.

What if I had just ruined everything?!

What if I avoided my predicted death?!

No. I saw my chance when Fei-wong attacked them again. Kimihiro was struggling to get up and try to defend it, but I knew that it would kill the both of them if it hit.

I stepped in the path of destruction.

And it hit me, full-force.

This gave Kimihiro his chance, as Fei-Wong was a bit startled by my, a stranger's, movements..

"_RAITEI.. SHOURAI!!" _There was a lot of strength in this spell. Kimihiro had really listened to me when I had told him that Fei-Wong had to be destroyed.

The boy's magic hit him hard. He was already battered from my overwhelming magic.. plus, he was dead in the future. It didn't take much to kill him now.

Kimihiro inhaled and exhaled deeply when he noted that Fei-Wong wasn't going to bother them anymore, and he quickly hurried to Sakura.

"I'm sorry! I interrupted your ceremony.. It won't hurt you, will it?"

Sakura sat up and shook her head with a huge, happy smile. "No, Syaoran! I'm just glad that you did it!"

I smiled to myself for one last time, listening to this. She called him 'Syaoran'. There was no '-kun'.. and hopefully, unlike my case, he would never have to hear her '-kun' again..

Only then did they remember my presence, and they both rushed to me, but they didn't know that I was doomed... surprsiing thing was, I wasn't dead yet. "Are you alright?" Kimihiro asked me.

I didn't want to say that i wasn't.. I could feel my life fading away, along with my magic for my payment. I couldn't keep the truth from Kimihiro at all. "No," I said vaguely, shaking my head as I could not sit up. "But I did what i needed to."

"Who are you?" Sakura asked, with a tiny bit of shyness. I could see through a hazy, bloody vision that there were tears forming in her pretty emerald eyes... and I wondered how she could cry for an utter stranger like that.. but them I remembered, she's Sakura.

"I am.." I paused, wondering what I could possibly say. "I am someone who shouldn't exist at all."

"Why do you look like me so much?" Kimihiro saked. "Where did you come from?"

he was just a kid, after all.. "I am.. a clone.. of you.." I said, with a slight struggle. Struggle for breath, struggle for the proper words.. both. "Made by Fei-Wong.. Reed.. if you had not killed him now."

Surprisingly, Kimihiro understood. "Thank you.. Syaoran."

I struggled now, to keep my eyes open. "No.. thank you, Kimi.."

Everything turned black then.

/End/

My note:

Well.. I guess I just have to say.. that I'm a huge c!Syaoran fangirl. And.. though this is obviously not going to be the end of TRC, because c!Syaoran is no longer the main character, and I don't even _want _it to be the end of TRC, I felt like writing this because.. I don't know why, actually.

So.. yeah. I actually began writing this Christmas day.

Festive, huh?

Anyways, I kinda like the way this turned out.. with c!Syaoran's heart being a jerk after Nihon, then having the realziation that he loved c!Sakura and killing FWR, then sacrificing himself for the lives of the people who shouldn't have existed in the first place..

Guess it just has sort of a 'Syaoran-ish' ring to it.

I decided not to tie up loose ends, like what Sakura's real name was, and who FWR was wishing to ressurrect.. and I left out the 'those are dead should not be brought back to life' part of TRC.. 'cauuse.. that's just way too damn hard to deal with.

If you liked it, and wish for a continuation, say so.

If you don't.. then go ahead and say so. Really, say whatever you want.

By the way.. I'm only really guessing that r!Syaoran's real name is Kimihiro.. it's probably not, because CLAMP wouldn't have something so easy to predict, but come on..

It's 3:00 AM. I can't think of anything else that he would be called..

oh, and sorry about how Fye (I used to say 'Fai', but I dunno, Fye sounds more.. correct) and Kurogane were sort of pushed into the background here.. but c!Syaoran _is _the main character and I've always wanted to write in _his _POV.

Repeat: HIS POV. This means that I don't think any of the things that he thought in the beginning. I do not think that r!Syaoran should be called Mr. Idiot and that Sakura (either c!Sakura or r!Sakura) is stupid, okay? I don't like r!Syaoran as much as c!Syaoran, but I don't think badly of him.

and, uh.. I don't think badly of pillows either?

So remember, if you want a continuation (I kinda wanna write one too) say so... k?

And.. I know that I said 'I guess' a lot.. because it's a first-person fanfic.. And I don't think one person ('specially c!Syaoran) can actually be completely certain about the feelings of others, can they..?

Oh, and by the way.. yeah, this is a bit change from Sakura demanding what homosexuality is from Syaoran, isn't it?

Hahaha.

..I guess.


End file.
